Ciao,
Ho inventato una storia in cui vi mostro la trama e la sceneggiatura che sono state create finora.
Se sai quali miglioramenti o quale tipo di script puoi segnalare in questo argomento.
Script so far:
Strip 1:
1.1 Mickey has a telephone in his hand and says, "Hi Commissioner."
1.2 Telephone / Commissioner O'Hara: "Pzz .. Pang Pang ..."
1.3 Mickey throws the door open and says "What is it"
1.4 Commissioner O'Hara: "Huh? Oh. That fault."
Strip 2:
2.1 Mickey: "Is there a problem?"
2.2 Commissioner O'Hara: "Yes, a major economic problem."
2.3 Commissioner O'Hara: "The police are drilling with a great result."
2.4 Mickey: "What is that problem then?"
2.5 Commissioner O'Hara: "The tips for letters are mandatory."
Strip 3:
3.1 Mickey: "What can I do there?"
3.2 Commissioner O'Hara: "Oh, that problem, mysterious things are going on in the countryside."
3.3 Commissioner O'Hara: "'According to a letter from sheriff Boterhan Kaasban from Duckstad."
3.4 An appearance of a postman comes and he says: "Jœsę de Bœsę wants remuneration for that." He looks a bit like a stork from "Dumbo". "Argentinia Post" is on his cap and / or mailbag.
Strip 4:
4.1 Mickey can be seen walking through the corridor.
4.2 Case is visible. He says, "I know where those thefts from the countryside come from, I know!"
4.3 Mickey can be seen again. Mickey thinks: "So there are thefts present.
4.4 Mickey can be seen. The text of Casey can be seen, but Casey himself does not. Case says: "It comes through ..."
4.5 Mickey can be seen. The text of Casey can be seen, but Casey himself does not. Case says: "... angry dogs." Mickey looks very surprised.
Strip 5:
5.1 Mickey stands next to a staircase in his own house. He calls: "Mortie, Freddie, we have to go to the countryside for police work!"
5.2 The nephews are downstairs. They are all crates next to them. On these boxes are for example "sambal", "tabasco" and "pepper". Mickey looks surprised.
5.3 The nephews say: "It helps against sleeping gas."
Strip 6:
6.1 Mickey, Mortie and Freddie are in a car. The nephews: "May we chew gum?"
6.2 Mickey: "Why actually?"
6.3 The nephews: "For fresher breath."
Strip 7:
7.1 Mickey is in the front. It says in the air: "Pop." Mickey is there, terrified, on that picture.
7.2 The cousins: "Why are you afraid of chewing gum?"
7.3 Mickey: "Hand in that sweet bite."
Strip 8:
8.1 Mickey: "The tank is leaking!"
8.2 Mickey: "What should I do now?"
8.3 The nephews: "There is a gas station.
Strip 9:
9.1 See the nephews on the back bench. Mickey on the front bench can not be seen. The front bench is not visible at all. Puk & Max: "The problem has already been solved without having to go to a technician."
9.2 The nephews: "Although it would have been useful."
9.3 The whole car can be seen a lot in front. Mickey can be seen who hits a horse with a whip. He says: "Vort! Vort!"
Strip 10:
10.1 The cousins: "Uncle Mickey? Where should we actually sleep?"
10.2 Mickey: "Do not live here by chance your great-aunt Maria."
10.3 The cousins: "No. She lives here all her life, there is nothing by chance.
Strip 11:
11.1 They are standing in front of the house and Mickey is calling. Maybe nice that there is: "Tingdong" or something like that.
11.2 The door is open. Maria can be seen. She is the same size as Mickey. She has a club. She has some sort of Rockerduck glasses, but without legs. The nephews say: "Hi Aunt Maria, do not you have any traps for the thefts?"
11.3 Maria: "I have one, a little one, in the background a leaf is falling.
11.4 The garden can be seen. And one collapsing colossal hogweed that has spread all over the garden.
Strip 12:
12.1 Mary gives Mickey and the nephews eat.
12.2 Fire comes from the cousins in their mouths.
12.3 The cousins: "Something too much pepper."
Strip 13:
13.1 A chair with a sheep on it can be seen and everyone looks at it.
13.2 Mickey: "Are you okay with Wilhelminaatje?".
13.3 Mary: "Yes, she is getting old."
13.4 The cousins: "Otherwise you have to complain to your own animal hospital." The word "own" is not entirely necessary, but it makes it clearer that it is hers which is the joke.
Strip 14:
14.1 Everyone is in the bath.
14.2 Mary: "By the way, do not use the first bottle."
14.3 Maria: "That is because frizzy soap for sheep."
14.4 Mickey, Mortie and Freddie look very fluffy on this picture. And they also look a little angry.
Strip 15:
15.1 The nephews: "What are you doing?"
15.2 Maria: "I am knitting."
15.3 The cousins: "Knitting? Bah What kind of fun can you do with that?"
15.4 The cousins are jumping on a canvas to see four sticks in the house.
Strip 16:
16.1 The nephews: "Aunt Maria, where is the hayloft?"
16.2 Mary: "Do you like that?"
16.3 The nephews: "We are going to pretend what it was like to live in the old times."
16.4 The nephews can be seen in a sort of soldier costume.
Strip 17:
17.1 Maria: "It happens around dinner that your house is being robbed."
17.2 Mary: "I am the only one that has not happened."
17.3 Maria: "I think because of my fall."
17.4 Mickey: "Which fall"
17.5 Mary: "I am a little forgetful, what does" fall "mean?"
Strip 18:
18.1 Mary: "Oops My vegetable dish has failed."
18.2 Mary: "You must eat at the neighbors."
18.3 Mickey: "And you?"
18.4 Maria: "I am a vegetarian and my neighbors always eat meat."
18.5 Mary: "Because of the pumpkin-dipped-applesauce-without-bacon-disease."
Strip 19:
19.1 They are eating at the neighbors and you see smacking.
19.2 Everyone falls on the floor and you hear: "zzzzzzz"
19.3 An intruder comes in.
19.4 The nephews beat him with a club.
19.5 You hear the screams of a cock and The cousins use the thief as a rocking horse as in:
https://inducks.org/story.php?c=ZS+40-09-08Strip 20:
20.1 Mickey takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.
20.2 Mickey runs to a mailbox and puts a hundred letters in it and he says: "One hundred letters in secret language writing is not easy."
20.3 A postman enters the office of Commissioner O'Hara and says: "One hundred remunerations for Jœsę de Bœsę."
20.4 Commissioner O'Hara is fainting.
Strip 21:
21.1 For a butcher, that postman says: "Sir, here is a letter and Jœsę de Bœsę wants a remuneration for it."
21.2 The perpetrator (masked) opens the door and gives him money.
21.3 The letter is open and it says: "
Dear main suspect,
You can report to the police station if you wish.
P.S .: Take some tip.
Strip 22:
22.1 The perpetrator's house is surrounded.
22.2 The perpetrator immediately runs away.
22.3 The perpetrator has a telephone in his hand and says: "Hi psychologist, I suffer from hallucinations."
Strip 23:
23.1 Telephone / Psychologist: "I honestly do not think it's hallucinations."
23.2 Perpetrator: "What is it?"
23.3 Psychologist: "I am not a psychologist or something, but I think it is real."
23.4 Offender: "Are not you a psychologist?"
23.5 Psychologist: "That was a hallucination."
Strip 24:
24.1 Mickey gets in and says, "Search all!"
24.2 The whole police force is looking for something.
24.3 Casey: "I have it."
24.4 The entire police force except the Cause: "Where?"
24.5 Casey: "Here is that cigar."
Strip 25:
25.1 The police force arrives at an open pit. Mickey: "I'm going to search there."
25.2 Mickey: "Give me a car."
25.3 Mickey is in the pit and shouts: "Help! Help! Help!"
25.4 O'Hara: "What is it"
25.5 Mickey: "Pistol forgotten."
Strip 26:
26.1 Mickey is driving in his car. As a detail, something could stand on the speedometer like 230. The perpetrator is driving. They both shoot.
26.2 A band of the perpetrator is hit and the car is turning.
26.3 Collision!
Strip 27:
27.1 They have their revolvers by their belt.
27.2 They raise the revolvers.
27.3 They shoot, but there are no bullets to be seen.
27.4 They look surprised and focus on themselves.
27.5 They are going to throw with the pistols.
Strip 28:
28.1 There are sounds above the sewer as: "Kaboem"
28.2 Mickey and the perpetrator run away.
28.3 On this picture you can see a party where everybody is dancing and where you can hear the whole time: "Kaboem"
I will go on another time here.
Plot:
Mickey is sent by Commissioner O'Hara to solve enigmatic robberies. Mickey takes the nephews to his aunt to leave them there and, when eating at her neighbors, she discovers the hiding place of the thief who was a butcher and stopped the meat full of measured sleeping pills. The thief flees through the sewer when the police surrounds the house and Mickey only puts in a day-long chase with a gun and a car. He comes out at the harbor and sees the thief taking the boat. He also automatically takes the boat and registers as a potato peeler.
He has forgotten his passport from haste and is being charged. Mickey's lawyer only gets him into trouble by coming up with theories that get even more punishment. He is thrown into the cell. There his fellow prisoners point out that he is a spy and show him a flight tunnel that he says runs up to Siberia. If Mickey goes in, the fellow prisoners will lock him up. He is suspected of escape and they eventually find him. He now gets a longer sentence that comes again because of his lawyer.
His fellow prisoners tell him that he knows a well to escape that he has made as salami-proefer from Canada. Mickey thinks that it is a trap and throws the man into it himself. After days of thinking, Mickey thinks of himself a way to escape. He climbs to the window and lets it break. Then it has to be made and then he hides in the mechanic's bag. The mechanic appears to be the fellow prisoners that Mickey has locked up.
During a pee break of the mechanic he comes across the fellow prisoners he threw in his pit. Mickey explains everything to him and convinces him to come along on the bus. The bus takes a long drive through the desert. The fellow prisoners are cold for some reason. At another pee-break of the mechanic they discover that he is an alien.
After another sequel of the long ride they arrive in Egypt. That's what they come to. They spy on him and discover that he sells meat. Mickey understands that it is the same trick as the countryside and warns the police. Only he is discovered by robbers and he is imprisoned. After they escape, they arrive at the police who do not believe their story. Then they search for it themselves.
They see that they give the guards of some pyramids that meat, and that night all the pyramids are ransacked. Mickey and the alien take the chase but are caught themselves. They eventually call O'Hara who releases them. Then they will try to arrest them. If they arrest them, the inmates turn out to be Pete and his henchman his lawyer who turns out to be Sylvester Shyster.
Papersera.net